Salesian Literature

Chapter 27:  Sincerity in words and Respect due to others

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If anyone does not sin in words, says St. James, he is a perfect man (Jas. 3:2).  Take great care that you do not let slip any unbecoming words from your lips.  Even though you may not say them with an evil intention, those who hear them may take them in a different way.  An unbecoming word which falls into a feeble heart spreads and extends like a drop of oil on a piece of cloth.  Sometimes it seizes the heart in such a way that it fills it with a thousand impure thoughts and temptations.  Just as what poisons the body enters through the mouth so too what poisons the heart enters through the ear.  The tongue which produces it is murderous.  Sometimes, by chance, the poison ejected by the tongue does not produce any effect because the heart of the hearers happens to be strengthened by some antidote.  True in such cases the poison does not cause their death but it is not due to the lack of the malice of the one who speaks.

 

Let no man tell me that he does not think about it.  For our Lord who knows the thoughts of men has said that the mouth speaks from the abundance of the heart (Mt. 12:34).  Even if we do not intend any evil, yet the evil one thinks much of it and always makes use of these bad words secretly to pierce the heart of someone.  It is said that those who have eaten the herb called angelica[1] always have a pleasant and agreeable breath.  Those who have the angelic virtue of modesty and chastity in their hearts always speak pure, polite and suitable words.  As to indecent and foolish things, the Apostle wants that we do not even name them (Eph. 5:3).  He assures us that nothing corrupts good manners so much as evil exchanges (1 Cor. 15:33).

 

If these indecent words are said under cover with affectation and subtlety, they are much more poisonous.  The sharper a dart, the more easily it enters into our bodies.  Similarly the more pointed an evil word is the more it penetrates into our hearts.  Those who pride themselves in uttering such words while talking do not know why we engage in conversations.  They must be like a swarm of bees gathered together to make honey from some gentle, virtuous conversation and not like a group of wasps which joins together to feed on something rotten.  If some fools speaks unbecoming words to you, make it evident that your ears are offended by them, either by turning aside or by some other means as your prudence may suggest.

 

One of the worst conditions in which a person can be is that of a scoffer.  God detests this vice very much and in the past he gave strange punishments for it.  Nothing is so contrary to charity and still more to devotion as contempt and scorn for our neighbour.  Ridicule and mockery can never be without such contempt.  Therefore it is a very serious sin so that theologians are right in saying that mockery is the worst kind of offence which we can commit against our neighbour by words.  Whereas other offences are committed with some esteem for the person who is offended, while this is done with contempt and scorn.

 

As to words spoken in fun among ourselves with a modest gaiety and joyfulness, they belong to the virtue which is called eutrapelia by the Greeks, which we may term pleasant conversation.  By them, we take a decent and friendly recreation from trifling situations which human imperfections cause.  However, we must guard against passing from this simple joyfulness to mockery.  Mockery provokes laughter through the contempt and scorn of our neighbour. But gaiety and humour cause laughter through simple freedom, trust, familiar simplicity joined to the charm of some words.  St. Louis told the religious who wanted to speak ot him of subtle matters after dinner that “it was not the time for scholarly discussions but to recreate themselves with merriment and jokes; let each one say politely what he wants to.”  He was saying this for the sake of the nobles who accompanied him to receive his favours.  But, Philothea, let us pass the time for recreation in such a way that we secure holy eternity by devotion.

 

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[1]  Aromatic plant used in cooking.

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