Salesian Literature

Chapter 12:  The necessity of Chastity

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Chastity is the lily of virtues.  It renders men almost equal to the Angels.  Nothing is beautiful except by purity and the purity of men is chastity.  We term chastity as honesty and the profession of it honour.  It is called integrity and its opposite corruption.  In short, it has its own glory all apart to be the beautiful and fair virtue of the soul and body.

 

It is never permitted to derive any sexual pleasure from our bodies in any way whatsoever except in lawful marriage.  The sanctity of marriage repairs through a just compensation the loss suffered in such pleasure.  Even in marriage, the purity of intention in the pleasure that is taken, there is nothing but honesty in the will which takes it.  The chaste heart is like the pearl oyster which cannot receive any drop of water that does not come down from heaven[1].  It cannot, indeed take any other pleasure than that of marriage which is ordained by heaven.  Outside of marriage, it is not even permitted to think of such pleasure with a voluptuous, voluntary and deliberately entertained thought.

 

For the first degree of this virtue take care, Philothea, that you do not admit any kind of sexual pleasure which is forbidden and prohibited.  Such are all those taken outside marriage or even those within marriage taken against the laws of marriage.  For the second degree, restrain yourself as far as possible from useless and superfluous delights although lawful and permitted.  For the third degree, do not set your affections on sensual pleasures that are commanded and enjoined.  Though it is necessary to take such delights, that is, which concern the end and institution of holy marriage, all the same, the heart and mind must not be attached to them. 

 

For the rest, each one has great need of this virtue. Widows ought to have a courageous chastity: it should hold in contempt not only present and future objects but resist all the imaginations which pleasures lawfully taken in marriage may produce in their minds.  For this reason they are more liable to impure allurements.  In this regard, St. Augustine admires the purity of his dear friend Alypius[2] who had completely forgotten and despised the carnal pleasures which he had, however, sometimes experienced in his youth. In fact, fresh fruits can be preserved some in straw, some in sand, and some in their own leaves.  But once damaged it is impossible to keep them except in conserves with honey and sugar.  Thus chastity which is not hurt or violated can be kept in many ways, but once it has been impaired only fervent devotion may preserve it.  As I have often said devotion is the genuine honey and sugar of the spirit.

 

The virgins have need of an extremely simple and delicate chastity to banish from their hearts all kinds of curious thoughts and to despise with an absolute contempt all kinds f impure pleasures.  In truth such pleasures do not deserve to be desired by men because they are more fitting for asses and swine.  Hence, let those who are pure guard against ever doubting that chastity is incomparably better than anything which is inconsistent with it.  For, as the great St. Jerome says, the enemy violently urges virgins to the desire of tasting such pleasures, representing them as immensely more pleasant and delightful than they actually are.  This often troubles them very much, “since,” this saintly Father says, “they esteem to be very sweet what they do not know.”

 

The little moth seeing the flame, curiously flutters around it to find out if it is as sweet as it seems to be beautiful; urged by this fantasy, it does not stop till it is lost in the first attempt.  In the same way, young persons often allow themselves to be obsessed by such false and foolish imaginations that they have of the pleasures of voluptuous flames; after many curious thoughts they finally plunge into ruin and perish in it.  In this, they are more foolish than moths which have some cause for thinking that the fire is delicious since it is beautiful.  The young persons, knowing that what they seek is extremely immodest, still do not cease from overestimating these senseless and animal delights.

 

But as regards those who are married, it is a fact that chastity is very necessary for them, even though common people may not think so.  For the married, chastity does not consist in abstaining completely from carnal pleasures but observing moderation amidst such pleasures.  Now this commandment, Be angry and do not sin (Ps. 4:4) is, in my opinion, more difficult than the other: do not be angry at all.  Avoiding anger is easier than regulating it.  Even so, it is easier to keep oneself away from carnal pleasures than to keep moderation in them.  It is true that the holy liberty of marriage has a special power to extinguish the fire of concupiscence, but the weakness of those who enjoy them passes easily from permission to licence and from use to abuse.

 

Just as we see many rich people steal, not due to necessity but avarice, so also we see many married people given up to intemperance and lewdness in spite of the lawful object at which they should and could stop.  Their concupiscence is like a wild fire which burns here and there without limiting itself to any one place.  It is always dangerous to take very strong medicines because if one takes more than is necessary, or if it is not well-prepared, much harm is done.  Marriage was blessed and ordained partly as a remedy for concupiscence.  Undoubtedly, it is a very good remedy but nonetheless very strong and, as a consequence, very dangerous if it is not reasonably used.

 

I add that a variety of human affairs, besides long sickness, often separate the husbands from their wives.  Therefore the married need two kinds of chastity: one of absolute abstinence, when they are separated occasionally as I have just mentioned; the other of moderation when they are together in their day to day life.  Indeed St. Catherine of Sienna saw among the damned many souls greatly tormented for violating the sanctity of marriage. “What happened,” she said, “was not due to the mere seriousness of the sin, for murders and blasphemies are even more enormous, but in so far as those who commit it do not make it a matter of conscience and consequently continue in it for a long time.”

 

You see, then, that chastity is necessary for every class of people.  Follow peace with all,  says the Apostle, and holiness without which no one shall see God (Heb. 11:14).  Now by holiness, he understands chastity, as St. Jerome and St. Chrysostom have observed.  No, Philothea, no one will see God without chastity, no one will stay in his holy tabernacle (Ps. 15:1) who is not pure of heart (Ps. 24:4) and as the Saviour himself said, the dogs and the impure things will be banished from it (Rev. 22:15) and Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God (Mt. 5:8).

 

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[1]  Pliny

[2]  Confessions, Book 6, Chapter 12

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