Salesian Literature

Chapter 3:  Patience

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You have need of patience so that doing the will of God you may receive what he has promised (Heb. 10:36) says the Apostle.  Yes, for as the Saviour has declared, You shall possess your self in patience (Lk. 21:19).  It is the great happiness of man, Philothea, to possess himself.  The more perfect our patience, the more perfectly we possess ourselves.  Often recall to your mind that Our Lord saved us by his sufferings and endurance.  In the same way, we must work out our salvation by sufferings, trials, bearing insults, conflicts and troubles with as much gentleness as possible.

 

Do not limit your patience to this or that kind of insults and trials but extend it without exception to all that God will send you or allow to happen to you.  Some wish to suffer only trials which are honourable, for example, to be wounded in battle, to be prisoners of war, to be ill-treated for the sake of religion, to be impoverished by some lawsuit in which they are successful.  Such persons do not love the trials but the honour they bring.  The really patient servant of God bears with equanimity the humiliating trials as well as the honourable.

 

To be despised, criticized and accused by the wicked, this is entirely pleasant to a man of courage.  But to be criticized, accused and ill-treated by good people, by friends, by relations in a real test of virtue.  I admire more the gentleness with which the great St. Charles Borromeo suffered for a long time the public criticisms addressed to him in the pulpit by a great preacher of a strictly reformed Order than all the attacks which he endured from others.  Just as the stings of the bees are more painful than those of flies so too the harm we receive from good people and their opposition are more unbearable than others.  Yet such situations often arise: two good persons both with good intentions stir up great trials and conflicts against one another due to the differences of their opinions.

 

Be patient not only in the main and important details of the misfortunes which may come upon you but also as regards the secondary and accidental circumstances which flow from them.  Many would be willing to accept trouble provided they were not in any way inconvenienced.  “I would not be troubled at being poor”, says one, “if it did not prevent me from serving my friends, educating my children and living honourably as I would like to.”  Another says: “I would not care about being poor if the people did not think that it happened to me due to my fault.”  Another would be quite glad to be calumniated and would bear it patiently provided no one believed the slanderer.  Others would like to bear a little inconvenience from sickness, it seems to them, but not the whole.  They are not impatient at being ill, so they say, but they have no money for treatment, or those who are around them are being bothered.  Now, I say, Philothea, we must have patience not only at being ill but also at being ill with the illness which God wishes, in the place where he wishes and among the persons he wishes and also with the discomforts he wishes.  The same is to be said about other trials.

 

When any evil happens to you, make use of such means which are possible in accordance with God’s will.  To do otherwise would be to tempt the divine majesty.  After taking the means, await the outcome which is pleasing to God with complete resignation.  If it pleases him that the means overcome the evil then thank him with humility.  But if it pleases him that the evil overcomes the means then bless him with patience.

 

I am of the same opinion as St. Gregory: when you are rightly accused of some fault that you have committed, humble yourself very much and acknowledge that you deserve the accusation brought against you.  If you are falsely accused, excuse yourself gently denying your guilt because you owe this respect to the truth and to the edification of your neighbour.  But even if, after your genuine and legitimate excuse, they continue to accuse you, do not be at all troubled and do nothing to get your excuse accepted.  For after doing your duty to the truth, you ought to do it also to humility.  In this way, you neither offend against the care you owe to your good name, or the affection you owe to tranquillity, gentleness of heart and humility.

 

Complain as little as possible about the wrongs done to you.  For it is certain that in general the one who complains, sins in so far as self-love makes us feel the offences to be greater than they really are.  Above all do not make your complains to persons inclined to be indignant or to think rashly.  If it is expedient for you to complain to someone either to correct an offence or to restore your peace of mind, then let it be to peaceful persons who really love God.  Otherwise instead of calming your heart, they will stir it up to greater anxieties;  instead of taking away the thorn which pricks you they will drive it deeper into your foot.

 

Many being sick, in trouble or offended by someone keep away from actually complaining and showing weakness. This in their opinion, and it is true, will clearly show a great lack of strength and generosity.  But they desire very much and seek through several devices from everyone pity and great compassion for them and to be thought of as not only suffering but also patient and courageous.  Now this is indeed patience but a false patience which in fact is nothing else than a very refined, subtle ambition and vanity.  They have the glory, says the Apostle, but not before God (Rom. 4:2).

 

The truly patient man neither complains about his suffering nor does he seek pity.  He speaks of it unaffectedly, truthfully and simply without lamenting, without complaining and without exaggerating.  If we pity him, he patiently allows himself to be pities, except in case he is pities for an affliction which he does not have.  While he modestly declares that he has no such suffering, he remains in a peaceful state between truth and patience admitting the evil and not complaining about it.

 

When you meet with difficulties in the exercise of devotion, and these will not be wanting, remember the words of Our Lord: A woman has great anguish when she is in labour but seeing the child that is born she forgets her suffering for joy that a man is born into the world (Jn. 16:21).  In fact, you have within yourself the most noble child in the world who is Jesus Christ.  Until he is formed and brought forth you cannot but feel great pain.  But be of good courage.  These sorrows will pass away and eternal joy will remain for bringing forth such a child into the world.  Then he will be brought forth entirely for you, when you have formed him completely in your heart and in your works by imitating his life.

 

When you fall sick offer all your sorrows, pains and weaknesses to the service of Our Lord and implore him to join them to the torments he suffered for you.  Obey your doctor, take the medicines, food and other remedies for the love of God, remembering the gall he took for love of you.  Desire to be healed for the sake of serving him.  Do not refuse to be sick in order to obey him and prepare yourself for death if such is his will that you may praise him and rejoice with him.

 

Remember that the bees at the time of making honey live and feed on very bitter food. Similarly we cannot make acts of the greatest gentleness and patience nor compose the honey of excellent virtues except by eating the bread of bitterness and living amidst trials.  As honey made out of the flowers of thyme, a small bitter herb, is the best of all, so also the virtues practised in the bitterness of the most vile, low and mean trials and humiliations are the most excellent of all.

 

Look often with your interior eyes on Jesus Christ crucified, naked, blasphemed, slandered, abandoned and overwhelmed by every kind of trouble, sorrow and pain.  Consider that all your sufferings are not comparable to his either in quality or in quantity; you will never be able to suffer anything for his sake compared to what he suffered for you.  Consider the torments endured by the Martyrs of old and those so many people suffer now are incomparably more severe than yours and say: Alas! My sufferings are comforts and my thorns are roses in comparison with those who without help, without assistance and without relief live in continual death weighed down by afflictions infinitely greater than mine.

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