Salesian Literature

Vol. 1, CONFERENCE 1:  Confidence in God and surrender to Him

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Question asked: Can a person, who is conscious of his misery, approach God with great confidence?

 

Answer:  A person who is conscious of his misery can certainly have great confidence in God.  In fact, he cannot have true confidence in him without this consciousness of his misery.  This knowledge and acknowledgement of our misery leads us to the presence of God.  All the great Saints like Job, David and others, used to begin all their prayers with the confession of their wretchedness and unworthiness.  Hence, it is very useful to acknowledge oneself to be poor, mean and abject, and unworthy to present oneself before God.

 

The famous saying of the ancient philosophers: Know thyself, means to be aware of your worth and greatness, so that you do not abase yourself by doing things which are unworthy of your noble calling.  It means also “Know Yourself” that is your unworthiness, imperfection and your wretchedness.

 

The more miserable we are, the more ought we to trust in God’s goodness and mercy.  Had God not created man, God would always have been good, but he would not have been actually merciful, since he would not have shown mercy to anyone; for, to whom can mercy be shown except to the wretched?

 

You see, then, that the more we recognise ourselves as miserable, the greater the reason we have to trust in God, since there is absolutely nothing in us in which we could put our confidence.  Distrust of ourselves comes through the awareness of our imperfections.  It is good to distrust ourselves, but in what way can it help us, if not to put all our confidence in God and await his mercy.

 

I quite understand that the difficulties we experience are not any doubts and mistrust in the mercy of God’s plan of salvation.  It is a certain sense of shame and embarrassment we feel when we wish to approach Our Lord.  No doubt, we commit sins of disloyalty we have read about he life of some great persons like St. Catherine of Siena and Mother Teresa of Avila who felt quite ashamed of themselves when they committed some fault.  Self-love also makes us believe that we also should feel ashamed of ourselves. It is then we say: Alas! Lord! I do not dare come close to you, so miserable that I am!  This gives a certain sense of satisfaction to our self-love and we take delight in it.  These feelings of shame are very good when they are used in a constructive way.  Really, after having offended God it is quite reasonable to feel that we withdraw ourselves from him out of humility and a certain sentiment of embarrassment.  If only we offend a friend, we feel ashamed to face him.  We should never remain there.  The virtues of humility, abjection and shame are means which lead us to rise to an intimate union of our heart with God.  It serves no useful purpose at all, if we abase and strip ourselves, through these acts of shame, yet we do not give ourselves entirely to God.  This St. Paul teaches us to do when he says: discard the old nature, put on the new (Col. 3:9-10).  You should not remain unclothed, you have to clothe yourself with God.  This little withdrawal is made only with a view to cast ourselves with more earnestness into God’s arms, by an act of love and confidence.  We should never live in shame, nor with a sad and unquiet heart.  It is always self-love which puts us in shame.  We are often disappointed to know that we are not perfect enough, not so much because of our love for God, but only because of the love of our own selves.

 

You say that you feel no confidence at all.  If you fell like that, you should make an act of trust and say to Our Lord: Lord, even though, I feel no confidence in you, I know that you are my God, and that I am all yours.  I place all my hope in your goodness, and so I surrender myself completely into your hands.  It is always possible for us to make these acts even if we find it difficult sometimes.  Still it is not impossible to make them.  It is in these times of difficulties that we have to show a greater loyalty to Our Lord.  Even if we do it without taste or any satisfaction, we should not be worried about it, since Our Lord loves such acts more.  Do not say: I do make them but only with the mouth.  That is not true, for if the heart did not want to make them, the mouth would not utter a word.  After doing this, remain at peace.  Do not pay any attention to your anxiety.  Talk of something else to the Lord.

 

Let me conclude this first point: it is a very good thing to feel ashamed of ourselves when we become conscious of our miseries and imperfections.  However, we should not stop there, we should not fall into a state of discouragement.  Rather we ought to lift up our heart to God in holy confidence; the foundation of this trust is in God himself and not in our own self.  For, even if we change, God never changes, and he remains always as gentle and merciful when we are weak and imperfect as when we are strong and perfect.  I am always in the habit of saying that our misery is the throne of God’s mercy.  It follows, then, that the greater our miseries, the greater should be our confidence in God; for confidence is the life of the spirit.  Take away confidence from your heart and you doom yourself to death.

 

Let me now pass on to the next question, which is about the surrender of self to God and what a person who has surrendered herself to God, should practise. There are two virtues – one is the goal of the other: to strip oneself in order to surrender.  Now you ought to know that to abandon ourselves and to renounce ourselves is nothing else but to give up our self-will so as to surrender it to God.  For, as I have already told you, it would be pointless to give up our will and renounce ourselves, if it were not to unite ourselves perfectly to God.  it is only with this end in view that we should make this abandonment.  Otherwise, it would be meaningless and it would just be like the abandonment of the ancient philosophers who make many kinds of renunciation – admirable acts of renunciation of all things as well as of themselves, through a vain purpose of devoting themselves to philosophy.  Epictetus, one of the great and famous among them was born a slave.  Because of his great wisdom, people wanted to free him from his slavery.  He himself, however, by an extreme act of renouncement, refused this freedom and remained voluntarily in a state of slavery.  He lived in such poverty that, after his death, only a lamp was found in his possession.  This was sold, later on, at a high price, being a relic of such a great man.  As for us, we renounce ourselves only to surrender ourselves to God’s goodness and mercy.

 

Many people say to Our Lord: Lord, I give myself entirely to you, and I do not want to hold back anything.  There are, however, very few people who really put this renunciation into practice. This surrender is nothing else than perfect alertness to accept he events that come our way through the decree of divine Providence: to accept equally suffering and consolation, sickness and health, poverty, contempt and scorn as riches, honour and glory.  I add that we ought to do this in the superior part of our will, for there is absolutely no doubt that the inferior part of our will and our natural inclinations will tilt towards honour and riches, rather than towards dishonour and poverty.  No one can, however, ignore the fact that contempt, lowliness and poverty are more pleasing to God than honour and possession of great riches.

 

Now, to practise this surrender we have to obey the declared will of God as well as the permissive will of God.  One is practised by way of acceptance and the other by way of indifference, that is, disinterested love.  The declared will of God consists in his commandments, counsels and inspirations, our Rules and the directives of our Superiors.  The permissive will of God consists of the events and circumstances in life which we cannot foresee; for instance: I do not know if I will die tomorrow but if I fall seriously sick I see in all these events the permissive will of God and so I surrender myself to the permissive will of God and I die willingly.  In the same way, I do not know if next year all the crops will be destroyed by storms.  If it happens, it is very clear that it is God’s permissive will.  I shall give some examples more common and more suitable to our situation.  It may happen that you have no comfort in your spiritual exercises.  It is obvious that it is permitted by God.  that is why we ought to remain in total indifference to spiritual delights and spiritual boredom.  Take another example: You are given a habit to wear.  It is not as comfortable as the one you were accustomed to wear, for the dress keeper has done it in all simplicity. But you will wear it all the same with a good heart, because it is the permissive will of God that you wear this dress.  Similarly, you will be served a dish that is not to your liking, but undoubtedly it is God’s permissive will for you, and you eat it with indifference as regards your will.  You should have the same attitude as regards fond attentions and marks of friendship.  If a Sister does not show signs of affection, it may be she is engaged in something better.  You should think that it is God’s permissive will for you.  To what purpose do we wish that she show us signs of affection?  But if the Sister does in fact show much fondness for you, you ought to believe that this, too, is God’s permissive will for you; praise him for this little gesture of his loving kindness to you.

 

There are things in which we have to join God’s declared will and to God’s permissive will.  Take an example: If I fall sick of fever, I see in it the permissive will of God and remain in indifference to health or sickness.  God’s declared will is that I call in a doctor and that I take all the medicines that I can (I don’t say the most costly, but the ones which are easily available), for God has so ordained it that he has given healing power to plants and other remedies.  The Holy Scriptures speak about this in many places and so the Church enjoins it.  But now, whether the sickness overcomes the remedies or whether the remedy overcomes the sickness, whatever be the case, we have to take it in perfect indifference.  So much so that if you were to be given a choice between health and sickness and the Lord were to say to you: If you choose health, I shall not withdraw even a little of my grace, and if you choose sickness, I shall not increase my grace even a little; but I have a little preference for the choice of sickness.  Then the person who has completely surrendered and abandoned herself into the arms of God, will undoubtedly choose sickness, just because there is this little bit of God’s preference in it.  Yes even if she is to remain all her life in bed doing nothing but suffering, she will not desire another state than this one for anything in the world.  Thus the Saints who are now in Heaven, are so closely untied to God’s will, that if ever there was but a little bit of God’s preference for hell they would leave Heaven and go there.

 

This state of abandonment of ourselves to God also means that we have to surrender ourselves to God’s will in all temptations, aridities, dryness, dislikes and reluctances which occur in our spiritual life.  We have to see God’s permissive will in all these things, too, provided they are not the result of our faults and that there is no sin.  As long as we do not encourage our dislikes they are a trial which we have to bear like any other.  However, in the beginning we have to find out the causes of these since they often proceed from our imperfections.  When an evil is recognized for what it is, it is easier to cure it, by getting rid of the passion which causes it.

 

Now, in case we feel dislike for a Sister, we should not reduce acts of charity towards her.  Make an effort to render some special service to her, speak to her, show her some marks of affection; not only as if we had no aversion whatever but all the more and in this way we show our faithfulness to God and follow his declared will which is that we overcome our aversions as I mentioned already and show her marks of affection. And who can prevent us from telling our Sister that we love her as dearly as our own heart and that we suffer very much because of this particular aversion we have for her?  I say this only to a Sister or a professed Religious, for a Novice may not yet be able to understand that you have an aversion for her.  It is indeed a great evil if an older Sister does not accept gladly and with compassion the little Sister who admits to her, with so much trust her distress and feeling of dislike towards her.  She says that she can not really help it and would very much love not to have it if such is the good pleasure of God.  now, after applying these remedies, do not keep worrying any more, but endure willingly without desiring to be relived from your trials but remaining submissive to God’s permissive will which is that you be formed in this way.

 

It happens sometimes that you have an aversion not to the persons but to their actions.  This dislike is less harmful, even though there is always an element of imperfection in it.  For, if someone does something which is not good, we have to look at him with compassion, and not build up an aversion to him.  For example: there are persons who have a passion for cleanliness that they detest those who are rather untidy and correct them with greater severity for this disorder than they would for any serious sin, and this, indeed is a great imperfection.  But if they were to have an aversion equally to all that is being done to offend God, this would come from genuine zeal.  Nevertheless, there is always a danger of passing from the aversion of an action to the dislike of the person.  And in this, usually it does not take away charity but takes away the charm of charity.

 

Now this does not mean that when the aversion to a person is rather strong, we are able to speak to that person with the same delight as if we have a warm friendship.  For, even though we have a great capacity to speak and to act, it is not always possible for us to do so with a graceful appearance as if we have no difficulty whatsoever.  Take the case of a person who is melancholic by temperament.  It is in her power to sing, to go for a walk, to say some amusing things, but she cannot do all these things as joyfully or gracefully she would do if she were not melancholic.  It is not always necessary to demand it from one or the other because it is not right.

 

If nothing happens because of our dislike except that we do not feel so happy when we speak to a Sister to whom we have this aversion, or that we turn our eyes a little away from her, it is not something serious.  It is only a matter for self-effacement and humiliation; there is no need to mention it in confession.  Similarly, when I have the duty to reprove or correct her of some failure and I am decided to do it charitably, it happens that in making this correction I do it with impatience; this too is not at all sin, almost unavoidable for everyone.  A simple act of humility before God is sufficient to repair the fault.  But if our aversion continues and we do some action or say some words because of it, then, indeed, there is evil since the heart forces the mouth.  It is a sign that the will is guilty, because it has not controlled the first movements.

 

Now you ask me what a Sister who has completely surrendered into the hands of God, should interiorly occupy herself with.  She should do nothing, except remain close to Our Lord in a holy inactivity and not worry about anything, not even about her body and soul; for now that is guided by God’s providence, why should she think about what will happen to her?  Our Lord, to whom she has surrendered herself completely, will take care of her.  I do not intend to say by that, however, that we should not think at all about the duties we have to perform, each one according to one’s responsibility.  For instance, if a Sister has been given the charge of the garden, she should not say: I do not want to think about it.  Our Lord will see to it.  Similarly a Superior or Novice Mistress must not pretend and say: “I have surrendered myself to God and I rest in his care”, and then neglect to read and learn the teachings which the exercise of their duties require.

 

You tell me now that we need great confidence to surrender ourselves in this way, without keeping back anything.  It is true, but also when we surrender everything, Our Lord takes care of everything and directs everything.  If we keep back something and we do not wish to surrender it to him, he leaves it to us as if he is saying: You think you are very wise enough to do this thing without me? Well, I leave you completely free to take care of it, but you will see soon what will happen to you.  Those who are consecrated to God in Religious Life, have to surrender everything, without keeping back anything.  Mary, who had given herself up completely to the will of Our Lord, sat at his feet and listened to him as he spoke to her.  When he stopped speaking, she also stopped listening, but she did not move away from him.  So, too, a Sister who is completely given up to God, has to do nothing else except to remain in the arms of Our Lord, just like an infant on the breast of its mother.  When the mother puts the child down to make it take a few steps on its own, the child walks till the mother takes it back again and when she wants to carry it, the child lets itself be carried.  The child does not know and does not even think where it is going, just lets itself be carried and led wherever the mother wants to take it.  Similarly, we must allow ourselves to be carried, when we love the permissive will of God in all that happens to us.  Nevertheless we walk when we carry out with great care all that concerns God’s declared will.

 

You ask me whether it is possible that our will is so absolutely dead in God that we do not know anymore what we wish or what we do not wish.  – I answer: it never happens that however surrendered we may be, we do not retain our freedom and free will does not remain with us in such a way that some desire and wishes arise in us.  These are not absolute wishes or well-expressed desires because as soon as a person surrendered to God becomes aware of some wish, immediately he makes it die in God’s will.

 

Now, to answer your question whether a Sister who is still quite imperfect can effectively remain close to God in prayer, with this simple attention to his holy presence. – If God puts you there, then you can certainly remain there.  It happens often that Our Lord gives these experiences of quiet and peace even to persons who have not yet been well purified.  While they are still in need of purification, they should, outside the time of prayer, take notice of the imperfections and make the necessary reflections to correct themselves.  For, even though God keeps them always recollected, he still leaves them free to think and to reflect on many indifferent things.  Why should they not reflect and make resolutions to practise virtues?  There are some people who have attainted a high degree of perfection.  However Our Lord never gives them these delights and experience of quiet.  They do everything with the higher lever of their spirit.  They make their will die in the will of God by their vigorous strength and by the highest point of their reason.  This death is the death of the Cross (Phil. 2:8).  It is much more excellent and generous than the other, and which we call sleep rather than death.  Persons who place themselves peacefully in the bosom of God’s providence let themselves go and move forward like a person sleeping in a ship on a tranquil sea never stops moving forward.  This sort of gentle death is given by way of grace and the other by merit.

 

You want to know further what kind of foundation our confidence should have.  – Our confidence should be based on God’s infinite goodness, and on the merits of the suffering and death of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, with this condition, that we on our part have the firm determination to belong entirely to God alone, and to abandon ourselves completely without any reservation to his divine providence; for to say to him: I trust in you, but I do not want to be fully yours.  In this there is no reason.  However, I would like you to be quite clear about this:  I do not say that you have to feel this determination to belong entirely to God, only that you should be constantly aware of it and recognize it in us.  We are not to waste our time finding out what we are feeling and not feeling.  Most of our feelings and satisfactions are but a pastime for our self-love.  We should also not think that all these subjects that we have considered today – surrender, confidence – mean that we shall never again have desires opposed to God’s will and that our nature will not feel reluctance to the events permitted by God’s will.  It may always happen.  These are virtues which reside in the superior part of the soul – the inferior part usually understands nothing of all this.  We should not worry about it, but ignoring what it hankers after, we should embrace this divine will and unite ourselves to it, regardless of these feelings of aversion.

 

Few people arrive at this degree of perfect renunciation of themselves.  We all have, however, to keep it as our goal, each according to one’s ability and possibility however limited.

 

PRAISED BE GOD.

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