Salesian Literature

Vol. 1, CONFERENCE 8 : Detachment

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These little attachments expressing possession such as “yours” and “mine” are still leftovers of the world where there is nothing more valuable than that. The supreme happiness of the world consists in possessing many things as one’s own of which one can say: “This is mine.”  Now what makes us attached to what is ours is the great esteem we have for ourselves.  We think so highly of ourselves that when something concerns us, we value it all the more.  The little regard we have for others make us accept reluctantly what has been used by others.  If, however, we are very humble and stripped of ourselves and consider ourselves as nothing before God, we are not longer bothered about what belongs to us.  On the contrary, we would feel highly honoured if we were given things used by others.

 

Now we should make a clear distinction between inclinations and attachments.  We should not take heed of our feelings when they proceed from inclinations alone and not from attachments; for it is not in our power not to have any evil tendencies at all.  If it happens that a Sister is asked to exchange her habit for one of lesser quality, she feels a little emotion in the lower self.  This feeling is not a sin, so long as she accepts this in good spirit courageously with the help of her reason for the love of God, and similarly as regards all other feelings.  If I am told that someone has slandered me or creates some opposition against me instantly I am filled rage and I have not a nerve which is not in tension because my blood boils in me.  If in spite of all this, I turned to God and make an act of charity for the one who outraged me, there is no sin whatever.  I would also add that even if a thousand such thoughts arise in my mind against this person and they last for a whole day and even for several days, if from time to time I disown them, there is nothing wrong, since it is not in my power to calm my natural feelings.

 

If this Sister followed her feelings concerning the exchange of habit, without doubt it is very wrong.  It will an act of great unfaithfulness towards God and her own perfection.  These things often take place because we have not put all our desires in common.  We have all to do that when we enter into Religious Life.  Every Sister should leave her self-will outside the Convent gate and have no other will than God’s.

 

Happy are the Sister who have no other will than that of the community; they take each day what they need from the community. It is in this spirit that we have to understand the words of Our Lord: Do not be anxious about tomorrow.  They do not refer so much to what concerns eating and dressing as to the spiritual exercises.  Thus, if someone comes and asks you: What are you going to do tomorrow? You will answer: I really don’t know; today I shall do such a thing I am asked to do, but tomorrow I do not know what I shall do because I do not know what I will be commanded.  If you cultivate this attitude in life, you will never have any regrets, for there cannot be any dissatisfaction or sadness.  But this virtue cannot be acquired in five years time, it needs at least ten years time.  That is why you should not be in the least surprised if our Sisters do not yet have it even though all of them have the good will to acquire it.  If one desires to have yours and mine one has to get out of the Convent, for here, in the Community, we do not speak about it.

 

It is not enough to make this renunciation in general; we have to come down to its practical application.  It is very easy to say: I am going to join the Visitation Order.  We make a general declaration to renounce ourselves and surrender our self-will.  Of course, we shall all do that well.  Btu when we have to practise it in all its details, it is difficult.  So we must reflect on the nature of renunciation and all the things which flow from it.

 

When we are moved by some emotion, we are to take care that we do not act under its influence.  All the same, when something of little importance takes place like throwing away a pen or something similar with a little feeling we need not mention it in confession.  Nevertheless we have to speak about it to the Superior and correct it, for otherwise, we will be deliberately fostering our imperfection.

 

You should always look upon with deep respect and hold in honour all the things of your Community: all acts of mortification, piety and devotion which are proper to it and which have the approval of the Superiors.  From time to time it can happen that we experience a certain disgust which proceeds from the evil tendencies of our spirit.  One Sister, for example, will abhor to see someone kiss the ground, and another to confess her faults in public and some other form of mortification.  It would be grossly presumptuous to despise and criticise these things.  We ought to take care that we do not do this as if it is something very wrong.

 

This shortcoming exists in all the spiritual persons I have ever known because of carelessness and discouragement.  Carelessness deprives us of the courage to practise mortification, and the desire itself to be mortified.  That is one reason why we dislike to see others perform these acts of mortification.  Discouragement makes us bored and say: My God!  It is really difficult!  There is no end to it.  I have never seen so many tings.  It is a always beginning again and again.  We must not, then, allow ourselves to be led by our tendencies and dislikes.  Instead we are to follow reason and the guidance of our Superiors.

 

As regards the spirit in which we should accept humiliations: You say: it would be easier if we were to be informed bout them a couple of hours in advance; it would be easy to be calm; for it is difficult when we are taken by surprise.  There is no difficulty at all in practising mortifications which we have chosen ourselves, however disgusting to us they may be.  There is no more difficulty because we have chosen them, and we feel proud of it.  We must accept the humiliations imposed by our Superiors with honour and humility as coming from God’s hands.  These mortifications come to us from the Providence of God.  they are always enjoined on us out of charity and we must esteem them to be such.  It is not our concern to judge whether they arise from passion.  It may happen that such a thought arises in us.  We must accept it with gentleness as a kind of trial, and always see the hand of God.  even though He is not the cause of this evil and of this passion, since it has happened, Our Lord takes it in his hand.  Then he puts it on us to enable us to merit through our suffering and trials.

 

We should love much to do and make the Sisters all that helps them and makes them progress in holiness, and to have a great appreciation for it. For, even these small practices, which seem to have so little value are often more useful than great actions.  We come across these great actions rarely, but the small ones abound and have to be performed with care and love.  For example, we should take care to speak softly, walk noiselessly, be clean and well-dressed.  If you bang the doors or make noise when you walk, you disturb the peace of the Sister who is perhaps praying; or if you are untidy and not properly dressed, you make another laugh or distract her from remaining in God’s presence and cause her this harm; and so at other times this is harmful.  All of us should live continually in an attitude of charity and do our best for the welfare of one and all.  Everything has to be shared even Our Lord himself.  He does not want to be our own private possession.  He wants to be so particular as to be shared in common, and so common as to be personal to each of us.

 

Whenever we are at grips with a temptation which would lead us to sin and which lasts for along time, to make sure that we avoid offending God, we should often perform certain actions which manifest that we do not want to consent to this temptation.  For instance, kissing the ground, lifting our hands to heaven, whispering a prayer to our Lord, and similar actions.  This helps our spirit to remain at peace and removes all doubt about having consented to sin.  When we examine our conscience we find that we had done such things.  We can be sure as far as it is possible in this life that we have not given in to temptation.

 

True detachment consists of three degrees: the first, is the affection that is created in us through our reflection on the real worth of this renunciation.  The second degree is the determination which follows this affection, for we decide more easily for the thing we love.  The third, is the practice of this renouncement, and this is the most difficult.

 

We have to undertake this renunciation of self in three types of things: external possessions, things pertaining to the body, and things pertaining to the heart.

 

The external possessions are all those goods we left behind when we joined the Visitation Order: houses, parents and things similar.  To give up we have to abandon everything into Our Lord’s hands.  After renouncing them, we have to come back to Our Lord and ask him for the true love he wants us to have for them; for we should not live without love and we should not have the same degree of love for everything.  We have to show more love for our father and mother and children for each according to its proper order for charity sets a scale for affections.

 

The second category of goods concerns the body like beauty, health and similar things.  We have to renounce all these things.  Then we should not go to the mirror to see if we are still looking beautiful or handsome.  We should also not worry any more about the state of our health or sickness at least in the superior part of our will; for nature always feels and sometimes cries out at least when we are not quite perfect.  We have to learn to remain as happy and contented in health as in sickness.  We should, of course, take the medicines and eat the food that is offered to us.  I insist that we ought to do these things according to the dictates of our reason.  I do not waste time on natural inclinations.

 

The third category of goods pertaining to the heart, are the delights we experience in their spiritual life; these are indeed very good things.  And why, you will ask me, should we renounce them as well?  Still, you have to do it.  You have to surrender them all into the hands of Our Lord and let him do as it pleases him.  You have to serve him with or without them.

 

There is another kind of goods which are neither interior nor exterior, neither goods pertaining to the body nor to the heart.  They are imaginary goods subject to the opinion of others.  These are called honour, esteem, fame and such like.  You have to stripped of all these things entirely, and desire no other honour than the honour of your Congregation, which is to seek God’s glory in all things, and no other esteem or fame than that of the community, which is to give good example in everything.

 

The joy we experience when we meet persons we love and the signs of affection we show them when we see them, are not in any way opposed to this virtue of renunciation provided they are not excessive, and if they are absent we do not run in search of them.  How is it possible that those persons whom we love being present our feelings are not stirred up at all.  Could someone say to a person who came face to face with a lion or a bear: Have no fear!  That does not depend on us.  Similarly, when we meet persons we love, it is impossible for us not to be filled with joy and happiness.  All this is in conformity with God’s good pleasure.  Hence it is something that goes against virtue.  I may go further.  I desire to meet someone for something useful and it ought to succeed for the glory of God.  if his plan to come is thwarted and I feel a little pain and I hasten a little to change the situations which keep him back, I do not fail in the virtue of renunciation provided I do not at all pass on to anxiety.

 

You see, then, that virtue is not as terrible as it is imagined to be.  This is a mistake which may make.  They create phantoms and think that the road to heaven is extremely difficult.  They deceive themselves and are highly mistaken.  Remember what David said to the Lord: Your law is very gentle and easy (Ps. 128, 96, 167) and also that it is sweeter than honey (Ps. 18, 128, 103).  We should all say that about our vocation, not only considering it as good and attractive, but also as being delightful, pleasing and loveable. If we do this, we shall have a great love in living up to all the demands which flow from our vocation.

 

It is true, my dear Daughters, that we could never arrive at perfection so long as we have an inordinate attachment to some imperfection or the other, however small it may be; even if it be to some useless thought.  You do not know how much harm this can do to you; for as soon as you give free rein to your spirit and dwell on some useless thing, it will soon enough lead you to think of dangerous things.  It is extremely important that we stop the evil as soon as we notice it however small it may seem to us.

 

We have to do a great deal of self-examination to discern whether it is true that we have no attachment at all as it sometimes seems to us.  For instance, do you try to increase the praise that is given to you by saying a few words to that effect?  Or do you seek it by means of cunning words pretending that your mind and memory was not as good as it used to be to speak well?  Who does not see through this ruse, that you want people to tell you that, in fact, you really speak extremely well?  Look deep down into yourself to discover that you are full of vanity.

 

Thus, you can find out easily whether you have an attachment or not, when you are denied certain opportunities to do exactly what you want.  If you have no attachment whatever you remain at peace, same as regards doing it or not.  But, if on the contrary, you get all upset, that is a sure sign that you have some inordinate attachment.  Now, our attachments are really very precious things, since they all have to be made use of to love God.  We have to take great care to see that we do not squander them on useless things.  When we commit a fault, however small it may be, deliberately and out of attachment for it, it is more harmful to perfection than a hundred others committed from surprise and without any attachment.

 

We ought to have more respect and love for our Superiors than even for our guardian angels, because even though they are God’s own ambassadors, our Superiors represent and take the place of God himself.  Our Lord himself has declared it: he who listens to you, listens to me speaking of Superiors, and he who despises you, despises me (Lk. 10:16).

 

You ask me now, what happens if a Sister does not have enough trust in her Superior so as to reveal the inner secrets of her heart to her, or in her absence, to her Assistant.  The Superior should willingly allow her to speak about to any other Sister she chooses and this Sister who seeks permission desires without at the same time nursing any aversion, but being happy that God has given this grace to open her heart.  Nevertheless, this Sister, in fact commits a great imperfection, since she ought to see only God in her Superior, which she is not obliged to do as regards the other Sisters.

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