Salesian Literature

Vol. 1, CONFERENCE 3 : Personal Opinions and A False Love for Oneself

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Let us make a sign of the Cross, before everything else, and then I shall say a few words to you on the two questions you have asked me.  I shall be short as to leave more time to the Sisters to ask me any questions they wish.

 

The first question is this:  Is it against perfection to be attached to one’s own opinion?  - Let me answer by remarking that to be inclined, to have one’s own opinions, or not to have them is not in itself good or bad. It is something natural.  Everyone has his or her own opinions.  It does not prevent us from reaching perfection provided we are not attached to our opinion and we do not love them.  It is this love of our own opinion which is absolutely contrary to perfection.  I have told you several times before that the love of our own judgement and the esteem we have for it, is the reason why there are so few who are perfect.  Many renounce their own will, for one reason or the other.  I do not say that it is found only in religious life but even in the courts of princes.  If a prince orders something to a courtier he will never refuse to obey but it is very rare to acknowledge that an order is quite good.  I shall do well what you order me to do in the same manner as you tell me, but … They stop always at “by saying but.”  It is the same as to say that they know well that it is better to do otherwise.  Nobody can ever doubt, my dear Daughters, that it is very contrary to the attainment of perfection, for usually it gives rise to restlessness of the spirit, peculiarities, to complaints and finally feeds the love for our self-esteem.  We should not love or esteem our opinion in this way.

 

I should, however, mention that there are persons who have the duty to form their own opinion, like the Superiors, who have to guide others, so also Bishops and those who have some responsibility in the administration.  Others, however, are not to do it, unless it be out of obedience to a command. Otherwise they waste the time which they are to spend in faithfully remaining close to God.  such persons are thought to be paying little attention to their own perfection and uselessly engaged if they wish to form and reflect over their own opinions.  Similarly, the Superiors are considered to be little capable of fulfilling their duty, if finally they do not like to take some decisions on matters presented to them and do not deliberate on reasons to support well their opinions.  It is, indeed, improper for them to be always indecisive as regards their opinions.  However they must not rely on or be attached to their own opinions which in fact goes against their perfection.

 

Whenever the great St. Thomas Aquinas, a man of such amazing intelligence, formed an opinion, he made certain or based it on the most solid reasons he could find.  If, nevertheless, some one did not agree with his way of reasoning, or contradicted it, he never got into an argument and never felt vexed, but tolerated this difference of opinion willingly.  Thus he showed clearly that he was not attached to his own opinion though he did not abandon it.  Rather he left it as it was, whether one agreed with it or not.  He had done his duty and was not worried about the rest.  The Apostles also were not attached to their own opinions, even regarding things concerning the administration of the Church, which was indeed a serious matter.  After they had taken a decision on a subject, they were not offended at all when some expressed a different opinion and others refused to accept their opinions as being good and based on solid reason.  They also did not abandon their opinions when they were well-founded.  However, they did not seek to enjoin them on others by means of arguments or contestations (acts. 15:7, 12, 13; 1 Cor. 11:16).

 

If the Superiors are to change their opinions every now and then, they would be considered irresponsible and imprudent.  If those who have no charge are attached to their opinions and wanted to form them, make certain and get them accepted as good, they will be considered as stubborn; for it is absolutely certain that love of our own opinion degenerates into stubbornness if it is not carefully mortified and restrained.  Here, too, we the example even of the Apostles.  It is something wonderful that Our Lord allowed many things really worthy to be written which the apostles did remain unrecorded kept hidden in deep silence whereas he permitted the reporting of this imperfection committed by St. Paul and St. Barnabas.  Undoubtedly it is a special providence of Our Lord who permitted this only for our special instruction (Rom. 15:4).  Both these Apostles were on their way to preach the Gospel together and they were taking a young man called John Mark with them.  Now Mark was Barnabas’ relative.  These two great Apostles got into a quarrel because of Mark, arguing whether they should take him along with them or whether they should leave him behind.  Both had divergent opinions on the matter, and not being able to agree they separated from one another (Acts. 15:37-40).  Tell me, now, should we then feel upset when we see that such defects are also to be found in us, seeing how the Apostles committed them?  They were attached to their own opinion to the extent of becoming obstinate, wanting to uphold them as good.

 

It is sure that there are extremely intelligent persons who are very good.  But they are so adamant in their own opinions, holding them to be so good that they become unyielding.  We have to be so careful not to ask them their opinion unexpectedly lest they give you their point of view without sufficient reflection.  Afterwards it is almost impossible to make them recognize or admit that they are wrong; they will go deep finding more and more reasons to maintain that what they have said once is right.  There is no way to get them change their opinion except if they abandon themselves to the demands of perfection.  There are others, quite large-hearted and extremely accomplished, who are not subject to this imperfection, but give up their opinions easily even when they are very good.  They do not rise up to defend them which they have found good and well-ascertained though some put forward contradictory or opposite opinion as we have mentioned about the great St. Thomas.  You will gather form all this that to have one’s own opinion is something natural.

 

Persons who have a gloomy temperament are usually more inclined to be adamant in their opinions, than those who are naturally cheerful and jovial.  For, this latter category of persons are normally more flexible and believe more easily what they are told.  The great Saint Paola was extremely stubborn in holding on to her idea of practising extraordinary austerities, rather than being submissive and abstain from them.  In the same way, many other Saints believed that to please God they had to greatly torment the body.  They went to such an extent as to refuse to obey their doctors and also to take other appropriate means for the preservation of this perishable and mortal body.  In spite of the fact that this was an imperfection, they still did not cease to be Saints and extremely pleasing to God.  This is a good lesson for us: we should never be upset in mind when we become conscious of the imperfections that are in us, or of the natural tendencies which are against true perfection, so long as we do not become obstinate in preserving them.  St. Paola and the other saints who remained obstinate were blamed for it even though it was only in matters of small importance.

 

As regards us, we should never allow ourselves to form our opinions in such a way that we are not able to abandon them willingly when need arises whether we are forced or not, to form them.  Those who are attached to their own judgement almost incessantly go deep seeking for suitable reasons to hold as to what they have once understood.  This is quite natural, but it would be a glaring imperfection to let yourself go in this vain pursuit.  Do you not think that this would be needlessly wasting your time, especially if it is not your duty to do it?

 

You ask me what we should do to mortify this inclination.  – We have to starve it!  If a thought arises in your mind that it is wrong to order you to do something, that your point of view is better, turn away from this thought saying to yourself: Alas! What have I to do with this since it is not entrusted to me and then turn your mind away from it.  It is always better to quite simply divert our attention than to go on looking for reasons to convince ourselves that we are wrong.  Instead of doing this, our understanding which is concerned with its own judgement will change its attitude and instead of rejecting our opinion, it will give us reasons for holding on to it and recognising it as good.  I think it is always better to do what I have said: hold the opinion in disdain without paying attention to it and chase it away promptly when we notice it so that one does not know what it wants to say.

 

My dear Daughter, we should not be so harsh with ourselves as to prevent the initial stirrings of joy that we experience when our opinion is accepted and followed.  That is but normal; but we should not dwell too long over this pleasure; we should thank God for it, and then move on without any worry.  We should have the same attitude when we feel a little hurt when our opinion is rejected –neither approved nor followed.  When the need arises, either by way of charity or obedience, we have to present and put forward our point of view regarding the subject under discussion; but we have always to remain completely indifferent – whether our opinion is accepted or rejected.  Sometimes we have also to express our view on the opinion of others giving reasons which support our view.  You have to do this humbly and unassumingly, without despising the opinions of others nor arguing to get your own accepted.

 

You ask me whether you are not encouraging this imperfection when you seek the company of only those persons who hold your opinion.  There is no question then of coming to any decision since what is to be done is already agreed upon.  – Of course, my daughter, nobody could doubt about that.  It certainly is fostering our inclination and consequently committing an act of imperfection.  This is a real proof that we do not accept the opinion of others and we always prefer our own particular opinion.  Once a decision has been taken, we are not to speak about it or even think about it, unless it was something evidently evil.  In that case, if it is possible, find some means of preventing it form being carried out.  Or if a remedy has been found we have to do this in a great spirit of charity, and with great discretion, so as not to upset anyone and also not to despise what was found good and judged to be opportune.

 

The best remedy to this is to do what I have said earlier in a slightly different way – to pay no attention at all to what comes into our mind concerning this subject and to busy ourselves with what is better.  For if we go on paying attention to all the things which our own judgement proposes to us in different circumstances and situations, we shall be subject to a continual inattention to what are more useful for our perfection, we become incapable and unfit for prayer.  Once freedom is given to our mind to waste time on trifles it will go deeper arousing thoughts after thoughts, opinions after opinions, reasons after reasons which will harass us in a surprising manner at the time of prayer.  Prayer, indeed is nothing else than a total concentration of our mind with all its powers on God.  Left to the pursuit of useless matters, the mind becomes quite unskilled and unfit to meditate on the divine mysteries in prayer.

 

This, then, was what I have to say to you on the subject of your first question.  By it we have learnt that to have our own personal opinions is not contrary to perfection; what is in fact against it, is to love them and as a consequence to esteem them.  If we do not in fact esteem them we would not love them and if we do not love them we would not be in the least interested in getting them approved and we would not say so easily: The others can think what they want, as for me … Do you know what it means, this: “as for me…”?  It means I will not give in, I will be firm in my own decision and my own opinion.  It is what I told you so many times: Our own judgement is the last thing that we shall get rid of, yet to leave and renounce it is one of the most necessary conditions to acquire genuine perfection; for otherwise we shall not be able to acquire humility which prevents and forbids us fro having any inordinate esteem for ourselves and all other things which depend on it.  If, then, we do not practise this virtue earnestly, we will always keep believing that we are better than we really are and that others owe us everything.  I think I have said enough on this subject.

 

If you do not have anymore questions to ask on this matter, I shall pass on to the second question which is: Whether the tenderness we have for ourselves hampers much our progress on the way to perfection.  To come to a fuller understanding of this, I should recall to your mind what you already know quite well, that there are two loves in each one of us, Affective love and Effective love. This holds good for the love we have for God as well as for the love we have for our neighbour and for ourselves too.  We shall not speak here of the love we bear for God, but rather of the love we have for our neighbour and after that we shall come back to ourselves.

 

In order to explain clearly the difference between these two loves, theologians are in the habit of making use of the comparison of the father who has two sons.  One of these sons is a little darling, still a little child, gracefully pretty and the other is a grown up young man, a brave and courageous soldier, or whatever other rank and position it may be.  The father loves both the sons with a great love, but in a different way.  He loves the little one with an extremely tender and affectionate love.  Watch him!  What does he not allow this darling to do around him?  Holding him lovingly in his arms, he allows the little infant to do what he wants.  He allows him to twist his beard around his hand, to roll it up and to comb it; he on his part coddles him, and holds him with unparalleled delight for the child and for himself, on his knees, or in his arms; he kisses him fondly again and again.  If the child gets stung by a bee, he does not stop breathing over the sting, until the pain has subsided. If on the other hand, his elder son were stung by many bees, he would not budge an inch, even though he loves this son too with a very great and strong love.  Think deeply over the difference between these two expressions of love; for even though, as you have noticed, the father has a great tenderness towards his little one, he still does not give up the intention of one day letting him leave the house to go and become a Knight of Malta, and appointing his elder son as his heir and successor.  The elder son, then, is loved with a love that we call effective and the little one with a love called affective; both the sons are loved, but the expression of the love is different.

 

The love we have for ourselves is similar to this, it is both affective and effective.  Effective love is that which directs the great men of ht world ambitious for honours and riches who amass for themselves so many goods and are never satisfied in acquiring them.  Thee people love themselves greatly with this effective love.  But there are other persons who love themselves more with an affective love: they are extremely tender with themselves, and do nothing else except to coddle and pamper and preserve themselves.  They fear so much what would harm them and it is such a great pity.  If they are sick, even though it be just a little pain on the tip of their finger, there is no pain greater than theirs; they are so miserable!  No pain, however great it may be, can be compared to theirs, and we can not find a sufficient number of doctors to cure them.  They do not stop taking medicines and thinking that they are preserving their health, they lose it and ruin it completely.  If others are sick, that is nothing.  Finally, it is only they who have to be pitied and they moan tenderly over themselves.  Thus they do their best to move those who see them to compassion.  They are least bothered to know whether anybody ever admires them for their patience provided everybody believes them to be sick and afflicted.  Certainly, this shortcoming is characteristic of children and if I may dare say it of women and even among weak men of little courage.  This defect is not seen among the generous.  Mature persons do not stop at these nonsense and pointless tenderness fit only to stop us in the way of perfection.  Inability to bear being considered too soft is to be very much so.

 

I have a story in my mind.  It will help me to illustrate the point I am trying to explain.  It happened when I visited a Convent while returning from Paris, where I met a wonderful person.  This meeting was more enriching to me than all the other meetings I had with – even many persons who were highly virtuous all though my journey.  But this particular meeting filled my heart with a special delight.  In this convent there was a girl who was doing her year of probation.  She was a gentle girl, pliable, submissive and obedient.  In short, she had the most necessary qualities needed to become a true Religious in the Visitation.  Unfortunately, it happened that the Sisters noticed that she had a physical defect and they began to doubt whether they should send her away because of this.  The Mother Superior loved her very much and felt distressed to do this.  The Sisters, however, insisted on sending her away due to the physical defect.  When I visited the Convent, they referred the case to me and asked me as to what should be done.  This girl, who came form a good family, was brought to me.  On seeing me she fell on her knees and said to me:  It is true, Father, that I have this particular imperfection, which is certainly shameful (and she mentioned what it was boldly and in great simplicity).  I fully agree with the fact that the Sisters are quite right in not wanting to admit me here, for I am unbearable because of my defect.  However, I plead with you to deal kindly with me, and I assure you that, if out of the charity towards me they decide to keep me, I will take great care not to inconvenience them in any way.  I shall willingly work in the garden, or do any other work whatever it may be which will keep me away from them so that I do not inconvenience them.  This girl, indeed, was hardly tender with herself!  I cannot help telling you that, as for me, I would not mind having such a defect myself, and to have the courage to declare it to everybody with the same simplicity with which she declared it before me.

 

She was not afraid of being held in low esteem, like so many others, and she was not very tender with herself.  She was not making vain and useless reflections such as: What will the Superior say if I tell her this or that?  If I go to ask her for some relief, she will say or think that I am too tender with myself.  If it is true, why should you not want her to think that?  - But when I tell her about it, she shows me such a stern face that it seems to me that she is not pleased with me.  It is quite possible that the Superior has sufficient other things on her mind and she will not always take care to smile at you or speak gently and graciously with you when you tell her about your difficulties.  You say that this is precisely what distresses you and takes away your confidence from going and telling her about your troubles.  My dear Daughters, all this is so childish!  You have to be more simple!  If you feel that the Superior or the Novice Mistress have not received you well as you expected, once or even several times, you should not for that reason be irritated, nor think that they will always do the same.  Oh, no!  Our Lord will touch them with his spirit of gentleness and make them more pleasing to you at your next meeting.

 

You should not also be so tender as to want, always to speak about all your troubles, especially, if they are of no consequence.  A little headache, or a toothache which perhaps will soon pass off, if you bear it for the love of God, you need not go and speak so that you receive a little comfort.

 

- You say: that you don’t tell about it to the Superior, nor to the infirmarian but speak about it freely to the others, because I want to suffer it for God.  – My dear Daughter, if it is true that you want to suffer it for God, as you say, you would not go and speak about it to another, who would feel obliged to report the matter, as you well know, to the Superior.  This is an indirect way of getting sympathy.  You could have simply asked the Superior for the relief you needed.  You know well that the Sister to whom you say that you have headache has no authority to tell you: Go to bed!  It is evidently for another intention even if it is not done on purpose.  It is to win the sympathy of the Sister and this flatters your self-love.

 

It may happen that you say it as you come across a Sister who asks you: How are you today?  There is nothing wrong in telling her provided you do it quite simply, without exaggerations and complaints.  Except for this, you should not tell it except to your Superior or your Novice Mistress.

 

You reply that if you go and report it to the Superior you are afraid that you will be overcome by your feelings.  Then don’t speak about it, if the illness does not need it, I mean, is not serious.

 

I appreciate much the custom of the Carmelite nuns of not complaining or manifesting their discomforts to anybody except to the Superior or to the Novice Mistress.  You must not be afraid any more htan that they are a little harsh in correcting such a fault.  For you do not take away their confidence to correct you, so too you may speak about it to those who can remedy it.

 

Indeed, I quite believe that you find much more satisfaction when you speak about your ailments to those who are not directly in charge of comforting you.  And when you do this, everybody complains to the Sister Assistant and begin to obtain remedies.  If you yourself go to tell the Sister in charge of you, and you would have to submit to her and follow her instructions.  It is this “happy submission” that we avoid always with our whole heart, self-love always seeking to master us and our own will.

 

But if it tell the Superior I have a headache, she will tell me to go to bed!  - So what does it matter?  If your headache is not so bad as to go to bed, it will cost scarcely anything to say to Mother, or Sister, I do not think that I am so ill for that.  And if she still insists that you do it any way, you do it simply.  Always you should cultivate an utter simplicity in everything.  To walk in simplicity is a way most secure and pleasing to God.

 

What do you say, my dear Daughter, you notice that Sister is somewhat troubled in mind or is in some kind of distress, and she has not got the trust or courage to come and share her problem with you.  You feel that if she does not confide it to someone she will fall into a state of depression.  Should you take the initiative to help her or leave her free to come to you on her own?  In this situation, we are to be guided b understanding.  Sometimes, it is good to be concerned about their sensitivity, call them and find out what is the matter.  At other times we have to leave her alone to overcome her small peculiarities as if telling her: You do not have the courage to ask for a suitable remedy!  Bear up with it, as best you can.  You deserve it!

 

This self-pity is much more intolerable in things pertaining to the spirit than in things pertaining to the body.  It is most unfortunate if it is fostered and nurtured by people who are considered to be highly spiritual.  They expect to be saints in an instant at no cost and without even the struggle caused by the lower self which resents anything against nature.  As for us, whether we like it or not, we ought to have the courage to suffer and fight against them.  Whenever small occasions present themselves throughout our life, we must struggle against them, if we do not want to miss the perfection to which we aspire.  I greatly desire that we make a clear distinction between the effects produced by the higher self and those by the lower self.  We should never be surprised by the urges of the lower self, however evil they may be.  In fact, they can never stop us on our way, so long as we hold on in the higher self.  We keep moving steadily in the path of perfection without wasting and losing our time in complaining that we are imperfect and deserve sympathy.  This self-pity gives the impression that what we have to do is to bewail our misery and misfortune in being so slow to reach the summit of our endeavour.

 

This fine girl, of whom I made mention, was not at all soft when she spoke to me about her physical defect. She recounted it all to me with great courage and self-assurance which made a great impression on me.  But what about us?  So often it happens that we shed tears over our shortcomings and it comforts our self-love!  My dear Daughter, we have to be much more generous!  We should not be astonished in the least finding ourselves subject to a thousand imperfections of all kinds.  We ought to have a great courage and hold in contempt these natural tendencies, our moods, peculiarities and self-pity.  We have to restrain them faithfully each time we come across them.  However, if it happens that we give in to them and commit some fault now and then, we should not linger over them.  We have to awaken our courage and be more faithful at the next chance.  We should keep going forward, in the way of God, through renouncement of ourselves.

 

You say, my dear Daughter, that if the Superior sees that you are not looking well and asks you, “what is wrong with you?” You find that you mind is quite confused so that you are upset.  You are not able to say what is the mater, what is to be done.

 

- You have to speak about it in all simplicity: I feel many things afflicting me, but I really do not know what they are. – You say that you fear that the Superior might think that you do not have confidence to tell it to her.  – Why should you care about what she thinks or does not think?  Provided that you do your duty why should you be troubled?  What will one say if I do this or that or what will the Superior think?  Such thoughts are very much opposed to perfection when we linger on them.

 

You must always remember that in whatever I say, I do not intend to speak about what the lower self does or says since I ignore it.  Then it is in the higher self, that we hold in contempt such thoughts as what will one say, what will one think.

 

You experience this when you gave an account of yourself to your Superior.  You feel that you have not sufficiently disclosed your particular faults: You say that you are afraid the Superior will think or say that you are not willing to reveal everything to her.

 

Giving an account of yourself to the Superior is similar to confession. We must have the same simplicity for the one as for the other.  Tell me should we then also say: If I confess this particular fault, what will my confessor say and what will he think of me?  No. He will think and say what he wants.  It is enough for me that I have done my duty, and he gave me the absolution.  And after the confession is over, you should not spend your time needlessly worrying whether you have said all that you did.  Rather it is the time to hold yourself in attention and peace before God with whom you have been reconciled, and thank him for all the goodness he has shown to you.  It is quite unnecessary to go on searching to find out whether or not you have forgotten something.

 

We should cultivate this same attitude when we make a manifestation of our conscience to the Superior.  We should say quite simply what comes to mind; but after that we should not think of it any more.  And just as it would be wrong to go to confession without a proper examination of conscience, for fear of finding something which merits to be confessed, so too you should not neglect to recollect yourself or avoid remembering what you have done in order to give an account of yourself as usual.

 

At the same time, you should not be too soft as to want to tell everything and approach the Superiors to cry out for help at the slightest pain you feel which in all probability will pass off in a quarter of an hour.  We must learn to suffer little generously these insignificant things, new product of our weak nature for which there is no remedy.  Such are these changes of moods, of likes and desires which give rise to now a little vexation, then a desire to speak, after it, suddenly a great dislike to do it, and similar feelings to which we are liable so long as we are in this perishable and transient life.

 

But when you say that this pain you have to endure comes in the way of your remaining attentive to God, unless you go and speak about it immediately to your Superior.  I must say that it does not take away your attention to God’s presence, rather from the delight of this attention.  Now, if it is only that, and if you have enough courage and determination, as you say you have, to bear with it without seeking any relief, I would tell you to continue in this spirit, even though it will cause you a little uneasiness so long as it is not much.  But if this pain really prevented you from holding yourself close to God, then you have to go and speak to the Superior, not so much to find a relief, but rather to find a way to be in God’s presence.  You would, however, do nothing wrong to do so to find some relief.

 

It would, indeed, be a great pity if the Superior says to a Sister who desires to speak to her: Go and do what you want! If she does leave you free to do what you want, you should reflect on what is better, to do or not to do, and then take a firm decision and not waste any more time.

 

You want to know, my dear Daughter, how to deal with a Superior so unpleasant who does not welcome with kindness the Sisters who come to her.  They go to here when they have need of speaking to her or to ask some permission.  She always answers sullenly and thus take away the confidence to seek her help in their necessities.  When she is absent, is it allowed to approach the Sister who replaces her, under the pretext of not inconveniencing much the superior, and moreover obtain the permission which the Superior will not perhaps grant them?

 

- Certainly not, my dear Sister, you should never do that, unless the Superior is so much occupied that she would really be inconvenienced if you go to speak with her.  Now, I understand quite well that when the Superior is not present at the gatherings, it is not necessary for you to go in search of her to ask her permission to leave the place.  But in general, do you not think that it is being soft on yourself to avoid going to her because she is not a pleasant person.  If she really continues to receive rudely those who wish, in all simplicity, to go and see her, then I admit quite frankly that she does wrong and she is quite imperfect. However, the Sisters must not abandon doing their duty in simplicity, speaking to her as to their Mother with an entirely childlike trust.  – But, you may say, she usually refuses whatever I ask her.

 

- It is the same thing.  You should not give up asking for permissions for that reason, if what you ask for is good for you.  As for the reason that she would be disturbed by you, it is useless and you have to get rid of it.

 

- But she does not deal like this with the other Sisters.  – That can very well happen.  – Hence I feel that she does not like me much.  – That is exactly where I know you were coming to.  Our main meeting point is always our own self: We are never loved or esteemed enough by our Superior which is very important for our sense and well-being.

 

Why does it matter for us, provided we have done our duty towards her, whether she loves us or not?  When I say that, I do not mean that we should say this out of contempt for the Superior that we do not care whether she loves us.  Rather we should have a contempt for our own selves and with the intention of stripping ourselves immediately of the vain desire we have to be loved.  In what can we mortify ourselves if not in situations of contradiction which come to us.

 

My dear Sisters, we should skin the victim if we wish it to be an offering pleasing to God.  in the Old Testament, God refused to accept the holocausts offered to him if they were not first skinned.  In the same way, our hearts will never be found worthy to be immolated and sacrificed in honour of the divine Majesty, unless they are first fleeced of their old skin.  This skin is nothing else but our old habits, natural tendencies, aversions, and the inordinate attachments we have for ourselves and for our self-will.

 

It is a great thing: I have such a strong aversion to go and speak now to the Superior, because of the fear I have that she will humiliate me.  – It is exactly here that we come to something good.  An act of mortification done with great dislike is extremely useful to put us much ahead in perfection.  It would be such a lovely thing to have a Superior who consistently showers around honeyed words and spreads the delights of kindness and gentleness into the hearts of those who wish to speak to her and this always.

 

- But what she tells me, does nothing to bring me comfort in this hour when my heart is bitter.  It is perhaps because she does not speak kindly to me – as I wish she would.  – That is doubtless true.  But what can we do about it?  We have to ignore all these feelings, as childish prattles.  Are we comforted?  Then let us thank God for it. Is consolation withheld from us?  Let us bless the Lord equally and let us not be surprised at these trifling peculiarities.

 

The Sisters should never lose confidence in approaching their Superior, even though they feel some aversion to her.  Similarly, the Superior, too, should not refrain from commanding and ordering something, even if the Sisters manifest some dislike towards her.  In case the Superior judges it necessary to put off for a while correcting a Sister, because she finds that she bears a strong aversion for her, she could wait.  It is not good to be always extremely rigorous.  How happy would be the Sisters who would have a Superior who would not love them!  It cannot be so.  Indeed the Superior always love the Sisters with this Effective love of which I spoke to you, procuring for them all the good she can in the discharge of her duties and according to her own particular obligations.  However, as regards Affective love, which is so soft and delicate which we desire so earnestly, this is what I have to say about it: The less our Superior loves us with this kind of love, and the less pleasure we experience in it, the more perfectly shall we be able to withdraw ourselves in God.  And this should be our only concern in life.

 

Who cannot see immediately that it is jealousy which gets you into this sullen mood when you see a Sister so close to the Superior and showing her special marks of affection?  -Oh, it is not that at all, you reply, my dear Daughter, but only a dislike for these special attentions.

 

- Well, we should not harbour dislikes for these things, or at least we should not give in to these feelings of disgust; but turn our heart in order to think of something else.  If we find a Sister behaving that way now, we will see that we ourselves will perhaps behave in exactly the same way at some later date.  We have, then, to learn to bear up with her.  We have to use the same means to turn away from these changing moods, grief and dislike of which I spoke about it while dealing with the first question concerning the renunciation of our own personal opinion.  We simply direct our heart to speak to God about other things.

 

The love of our own opinion on things pertaining to faith makes us fall into the sin of heresy and renders us wretched.  (This happened to the angels who became too much attached to their own opinion that they were greater than they were in reality. They were obstinate in loving and keeping their own opinions.  Thus from being glorious Angels, they became devils eternally condemned and attached to evil so much so that they can never undo it.  On the contrary, the Angels who remained faithful in order to be obedient attached themselves to God in such a way that they can never be detached from him.  Since once they have penetrated to the depth of a truth by the acuteness of their intelligence, they never change).  So too, if we do not learn to ignore and to hold in contempt all the vagaries of the human spirit, we shall be wasting our time by tormenting ourselves seeing this equality which we seek and aspire to, so far away.  We shall never experience total joy so long as we are in this mortal life; this grace is reserved to the blessed spirits in heaven.  Even though, I have just said, we cannot have it in its total perfection in this life, we have, nevertheless, to try to attain it in the greatest possible degree.

 

Let us proceed.  We have said enough concerning this tenderness we have for ourselves, whether it be for the body or for the spirit.  Those who are highly spiritual also love themselves with an effective love.  In fact, as we have said, people in the world crave for so many goods and honours with an attachment full of ambition that they are never satisfied.  Persons, however, who profess to serve God in the greatest possible faithfulness, are not exempted from having this ambition.  It expresses itself in the search of things spiritual, in the desire for virtues in the highest degree of perfection.  The tender and affective love has much greater hold over them than it has over the people of the world.  It makes them waste time happy in this desire for perfection without taking pains to seek to arrive at their goal, because it costs them much to renounce themselves on so many occasions.  To hate our aversions, to reject our natural tendencies, to mortify our tenderness for ourselves and to renounce our self-judgement, self-will, all this is something which our affective and sensitive love which we have for ourselves cannot tolerate without shouting: Hold on, it hurts!

 

You ask me, my dear Daughter, if the practice of poverty means that we should be attentive to accept willingly all the little wants we experience in one thing or another.

I have spoken about this to Philothea[1].  All the more reason for those who have made the vow of poverty to practise it.  It would be quite pleasant to be poor, or rather it would mean not being poor at all, if nothing is lacking to us.  Needless to say, we should never complain of such occasions, for if we did, it would mean that we do not love poverty and consequently that we are not being faithful to its observance.  We are not poor when, not having any money, we do not need it, or when nothing is lacking to us.  Our glorious Father Saint Augustine says in your Rules that the person who does not need much is happier than the person who needs many things which others can do without.  We come across many people who are always in need because they crave after so many things in order to be contented; and it is a great pity.  Such persons are poor provided they do not gather too many things even though they are in need of what the do not have which it seems they ought to have.

 

All that I have said to Philothea[2] can be profitably practised by all Religious, except for a few chapters like those concerning marriage, dances, games and similar ones.  But all the rest is very good for the Religious too.  I insist upon Philothea to embrace all the occasions she comes across to practise real poverty with love[3].  We shall not really feel the pinch of holy poverty if we take care always to be provided with all that seems to be in no way necessary.  As for me, I would not like to ask for something I could very well do without, so long as it would not in any way affect my health seriously; for to feel a little cold, or to wear a dress which is a little short, or which does not fit me so well.  – I would not pay attention to these.  But if I were given a pair of stockings which were too tight for me and I had to spend quite some time in putting them on, I would ask for another pair rather than spending so much time each morning.  But if I were given to wear something which does not fit well and which would make me feel somewhat uneasy, I would not say anything.  But as for suffering from the cold, you have to be careful not to expose yourself to extreme cold which would ruin you health.  This you should not do.

 

I have spoken in two or three places in France about something on which I am going to speak now.  And it is this: To arrive at the perfection of holiness, you have to desire little and ask for nothing. It is true that you have to be very poor in order to keep it.  But I assure you that it is a greater secret of acquiring perfection.  It is so well-hidden that there are very few persons who know I or even if they know it, they do not benefit from it.  As for me, if I were a Religious, I would ask for nothing, certainly if I were in the same disposition as I am in just now.  I ask nothing from the Lord, nor do I wish to ask for anything.  There are some people who ask for crosses, and it seems to them that Our Lord never sends them enough to satisfy their fervour.  As for me, I am not asking for any.  I desire to hold myself ready in the most patient and humble manner to carry those he will in his goodness deign to send me.  I would do the same if I were a Religious: I would ask absolutely nothing, unless I was sick, for in that case those who are sick should confidently ask for their little needs.  I would not even ask for receiving Holy Communion except on certain days when the custom seems to enjoin on us to request for it such as the day of the reception of the habit, of the profession and the feat of the Patron Saint.  I will ask for a needle and thread when I am asked to do some work.  The order that is given to do some work obliges me to ask what is needed to do it.  No, my Daughter, I would not ask for any humiliations; I would be quite prepared to accept lovingly those that came my way, but I would not ask for any on my own.  I would be quite happy always to continue forward in simplicity on my way not caring to desire anything.

 

You do well to ask to be formed, for you feel you are strong enough for it; as for me, I would offer myself willingly if I were commanded to do so, but obviously I would not think of doing it on my own.  Finally I would much prefer to carry a cross made of straw which is placed on my shoulders without my choice than to go to cut a big one in the forest with much toil, and then carry it with great difficulty.  I believe and it is indeed true that God would be more pleased with the cross of straw than with the one which I made with sweat and labour.  The reason is that by carrying it, I would give more satisfaction to my self-love which is so delighted with its inventions and permits so little to be led and guided in simplicity which is what I desire above all things.  To do in simplicity all that is commanded of us, either by our Rules or Constitutions or by our Superiors and after that we are to remain in peace for the rest as close to God as possible.

 

You ask, my dear Daughter, in reference to what I said just now, that to remain faithful in mortifying yourself, if you ought to abstain from habitually eating this or that dish you are particularly fond of.  –If it were me, I would not do it, for we have to follow what the Lord tells us: Eat what is placed before you, and that is done without choosing.  If I was given something I am very fond of, I would eat and thank God for it; if, however, I was not given it, I would not bother about it.

 

But you say: - You find two dishes of different kinds served.  I would help myself to the one closest to me and according to my appetite and need.  I would leave the rest, even if it were more tasty for me; but if I really had a distaste for it, then I would choose the one I could eat better; apart from that, I would take without choice whatever I was offered and in the order it is served.

 

While speaking on the subject of poverty, I said that it is good to suffer from some small want, without complaining about it nor desiring, and still less asking for what we lack.  Those who want to do it, may do so, as far as the Rule allows it and this is not against the practice of poverty but also it is not according to poverty or even according to perfection.  In trying to make the best of it, you are not doing anything bad, provided that you are not too demanding in your seeking after conveniences and that you keep within the limits of the observances of poverty in this regard; but it also happens that we lose, by acting in this way, some practices of virtue which are very suitable to our state of life.

 

- No, my dear Sister, charity does not require that the Sisters pay a special attention to observe and find out if there are any Sisters who are in need of something, so long as they are not in charge: but if they do notice that a Sister is really in need, they should in all simplicity, go and inform the Superior about it without in any way exaggerating nor belittling it – not even if it was for their own needs.

 

You ask if it would be failing in poverty if you choose a better serviette for the use of the Superior and not give her without choice one of those kept for the common use.

 

My dear Daughter, this is my answer to your question:  All that has been practised up till now is not bad at all.  From henceforth you have to give up this practice.  The Superior has her honours and privileges which are quite particular to her office.  She is called Mother, she has the power and the authority to command and to order, and the Sisters are bound to obey her.  Apart from that there should be no other mark of precedence and singularity, as it is clearly mentioned in the Constitutions, except in case of necessity like the other Sisters.

 

I have, then, to conclude and close my talk by recommending to you the spirit of simplicity and generosity: walk always on the road of your perfection, without loitering around whatever be the difficulties we may encounter on the way.  These may be our own imperfections, aversions or immoderate passions or any other difficulties coming from other sources.  Whichever direction they come form, let us not give up suffering for Our Lord, to whom be glory, honour, praise and thanksgiving, for ever and ever. Amen.

 

 

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[1]  Introduction to the Devout Life, Part 3, chapter 15.

[2]  Introduction to the Devout Life, Part 3, chapter 15 to chapter 17

[3]  Introduction to the Devout Life, Part 3, chapter 15 to chapter 16

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