Salesian Literature

Conference 16 B  :  Omitted from the Conference "On Antipathies"

​

I am asked if you may complain to the Spiritual Father, or Confessor, when you are dissatisfied with the Superior. Complain! Oh, my daughter! Have I not told Philothea that, "generally speaking, those who complain, sin?”[1]  Now, to complain to the Superior when a sister has mortified us, is just to be tolerated in an imperfect Religious; but to complain to a sister that the Superior has done so! Well, I have really nothing to say about that, except that, without mincing matters, if any one is inclined to such a fault, she must amend at once. But, above all, to complain of the Superior to any outside person! Truly, that must never be done under any circumstances; it is too grave a fault. If the Superior should give any occasion for complaint, I should tell her so quite trustfully, or inform her of it through her Coadjutrix as the Constitution directs.[2]

 

You ask if it is allowable to name to the Superior, the sister who repeated to us something which she may have said to our disadvantage. I reply: Certainly not, my dear daughters, and the Superior ought not to ask you to do so. To go to a sister and tell her that the Superior has said this or that of her, is a more serious fault than you may think, and the Superior ought to correct it most severely; to show her Community the grievousness of the offence, and the beauty of its contrary virtue; but this must always be done without naming the delinquent.    For remember, my dear daughters, we may declare our venial sins, clearly and openly before the whole world, in order to humble ourselves, but not our mortal sins, because we are not masters of our reputation. With still stronger reason are we bound to cover those of our neighbour, at the same time bestowing on her that fraternal correction which the Constitution prescribes.[3] A sister has perhaps spoken passionately in the presence of others, or murmured a little, or been cold and stiff in manner. Well, you can tell all that to the Superior, even admonishing her of it in chapter or in the refectory.

 

We ought certainly to be so sincerely anxious for the peace and tranquillity of our dear sisters, as never to do or say anything which might vex them. Now, nothing can afflict a poor sister more than to believe that the Superior is displeased with her. Shall I not, then, commit a great sin, reporting to her some slight remark the Superior may have made thoughtlessly, and which in the repetition will appear much more important than it really is, and so will keep this poor heart in pain and grief? She who does this is guilty of two wrongs; she violates charity, and speaks of a private matter. In God's name, my dear daughters, never do that. Generally speaking, I would not even have you tell the Superior the names of the sisters who may have spoken against her. You might tell her that such and such a thing which she has done has been disapproved of, but I should not say who expressed this disapproval; for, my dear daughters, if we have not the fervour and purity of charity, we shall never arrive at perfection.[4]

 

You say, if a sister is too timid to express the secrets of her heart to the Superior, or, in her absence, to the Assistant, in matters in which she needs enlightenment, what must she do? My dearest daughters, the Superior, or, in her absence, the Assistant, ought readily and cheerfully to give her permission to speak to any one of the sisters whom she pleases, and in giving this permission, to show no dislike or coldness. At the same time, it is true, that if the sister were to go on doing this she would be imperfect; for she is bound to see God in her Superiors, and in what they say to her; private individuals can never be of equal service to her.

 

Again, you wish to know whether you ought to obey, if the Superior orders you to do something contrary to the Commandments of God and of His Church. Certainly not, my dear daughters; but then, I must tell you that Superiors approved by the Pope may, in a case of necessity, dispense from certain Commandments of the Church. For instance, on a special fasting day, such as a vigil, the Superior sees a sister languid and fatigued, and may then, as a matter of duty, indeed, say to her: "Do not fast." If, however, it were for the whole of Lent, or for eating forbidden food, the dispensation must be obtained from the Confessor. But suppose the thought occurs to her: "This sister has not enough the matter with her to prevent her fasting? "Still, we must not be too scrupulous; in this regard the Church always wishes us to incline to charity, rather than to austerity. Yes, my dear daughters, if after having represented that you really do not think you are ill enough to be dispensed from fasting, the Superior still insists that you are, obey her without scruple. If, however, she says that you are to act according to your own judgment and your own feelings, then do so with a holy liberty.

 

I must tell you again, my daughters, that Holy Church is not so rigorous by any means as you think. Supposing one of the sisters is sick, though only of tertian fever, and that on a Holiday of obligation her attack of fever is sure to come on exactly at the time of Mass, you may and should lose Mass to stay with her, even though no harm would come to her if she were left alone; for remember, charity and the holy, sweet love of our dear Mother the Church are above all things.

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

[1] Part III, Chapter 3.

[2] Constitutions, 35.

[3] Constitutions, 25.

[4] We owe more respect and honour to our Superiors than to our good Angels, because our good Angels are only the ambassadors of God, and our Superiors hold the place of God Himself; since our Lord has said: He that heareth you, heareth Me (speaking of Superiors), and he that despiseth you, despiseth Me. (MS.)

​

​

Back to Top

​

​