Salesian Literature

Conference 2  :  On Confidence

In which it is inquired whether one may go to God with confidence, even with the feeling of our misery, and how this may be; also of perfect self-abandonment.

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You ask me, my dearest daughters if a soul sensible of her own misery, can go with great confidence to God. I reply, that not only can the soul which knows her misery have great confidence in God, but that, unless she has such knowledge, she cannot have true confidence in Him; for it is this true knowledge and confession of our misery which brings us to God. Thus all the great saints, Job, David, and the rest, began every prayer with the confession of their own misery and unworthiness, so that it is a very good thing to acknowledge ourselves to be poor, vile, abject, and unworthy to appear in the presence of God.  That saying, so celebrated among the ancients, Know thyself, even though it may be understood as applying to the knowledge of the greatness and excellence of the soul, so that it may not be debased of profaned by things unworthy of its nobility, may also be taken as referring to the knowledge of our unworthiness, imperfection, and misery.  Now the greater our knowledge of our own misery, the more profound will be our confidence in the goodness and mercy of God; for between mercy and misery there is so close a connection that the one cannot be exercised without the other.  If God had not created man He would still indeed have been perfect in goodness, but He would not have been actually merciful, since mercy can only be exercised towards the miserable.

 

You see, then, that the more miserable we know ourselves to be, the more occasion we have to confide in God, since we have nothing in ourselves in which we cant rust.  The mistrust of ourselves proceeds from the knowledge of our imperfections.  It is a very good thing to mistrust ourselves, but at the same time how will it avail us, unless we cast our whole confidence upon God, and wait for His mercy?  It is right that our daily faults and infidelities should cause us some confusion when we would appear before Our Lord; and we read of great souls, like St. Catherine of Siena and St. Teresa, who, when they had been betrayed into some fault, were overwhelmed with confusion.  Again, it is reasonable that, having offended God, we should be kept in the background a little by humility and a feeling of confusion, for if we have offended a friend only we are ashamed to approach him.  But is quite certain that we must not remain at a distance, for the virtue of humility, abjection, and confusion are intermediate virtues by which the soul must ascend to union with her God.

 

It would be no great matter to accept our nothingness and strip ourselves of self (which is done by acts of confusion) if the result of this were not the total surrender of ourselves to God, as St. Paul teaches us when he says: Strip yourselves of the old man, and put on the new [Col. 3:9,10]: for we must not remain unclothed, but clothe ourselves with God. This little withdrawal is only that we may press on the better towards God by an act of love and confidence. We must never suffer our confusion to be attended with sadness and disquietude; that kind of confusion proceeds from self-love, because we are troubled at not being perfect, not so much for the love of God, as for love of ourselves.

 

And even if you do not feel such confidence, you must still not fail to make acts of it, saying to our Lord: "Although, dear Lord, I have no feeling of confidence in Thee, I know all the same that Thou art my God, that I am wholly Thine, and that I have no hope but in Thy goodness; therefore I abandon myself, with all that I have and am, into Thy hands."  It is always in our power to make these acts; though there may be difficulty, there is never impossibility.  It is on these occasions and amid these difficulties that we ought to show fidelity to Our Lord; for though we may make these acts without fervour and without satisfaction to ourselves, we must not distress ourselves about, that; Our Lord loves them better thus. And do not say that you repeat them indeed but only with your lips; for if the heart did not will it, the lips would not utter a word.  Having done this, be at peace, and without dwelling at all upon your trouble, speak to Our Lord of other things.

 

The conclusion of this first point, then, is that it is very good for us to be covered with confusion when we know and feel our misery and imperfection; but that we must not stop there. Neither must the consciousness of these miseries discourage us, but rather make us raise our hearts to God by a holy confidence, the foundation of which ought to be in Him and not in ourselves.  And this inasmuch as we change and He never changes, but is equally good and merciful when we are weak and imperfect as when we are strong and perfect.  I ever say that the throne of God's mercy is[1] our misery, therefore the greater our misery, the greater should be our confidence[2].

 

Let us now pass on to the other question, which is as to self-abandonment, and what ought to be the exercises of the self-abandoned soul.  You must know that to practise self-abandonment and to forsake ourselves, is nothing else but to yield up and get rid of our own will and that we may give it to God.  For, as I have already said, it would be of no benefit at all to renounce and forsake ourselves, if it were not done in order to unite ourselves perfectly to the divine Goodness.  It is then with that aim only that we must make this act of renunciation, which would otherwise be useless, and would resemble those of the ancient philosophers, who made admirable renunciation of all things and themselves also, under the vain pretence of devoting themselves to philosophy. Take as an example of this, Epictetus, a very famous philosopher, who, being born a slave, was, on account of his great, wisdom, offered his freedom, but who, by the most extreme act of renunciation which can be, refused to accept his liberty. So he went on voluntarily living in a state of slavery, and in such extreme poverty, that after his death nothing was found in his possession but a lamp, which was sold at a very high price because it had belonged to so great a man.  But, as for us, we only desire to abandon ourselves in order that we may leave ourselves at the mercy of the will of God. There are many people who say to Our Lord: "I give myself wholly to Thee without any reserve;" but there are very few who actually practise this self-abandonment, which is nothing else but the acceptance with perfect indifference of all the events which may befall us, just as they arrive by the order of God's providence: affliction equally with consolation, sick­ness as health, poverty as riches, contempt as honour, shame as glory. I refer, of course, to the action of our higher nature, for there is no sort of doubt but that our lower nature and our natural inclinations will tend rather towards honour than contempt, towards wealth than poverty; although we cannot be ignorant that contempt, abjection, and poverty are more pleasing to God, than honour and the abundance of riches.    Now, in order to practise this self-abandonment, we must obey the known will of God, and also that of His good pleasure; the one by resignation, the other by indifference. The known will of God comprehends His Commandments, His counsels, His inspirations, our Rules, and the orders of our Superiors.  His will of good pleasure concerns events which we cannot foresee.  For instance, I do not know if I shall die tomorrow; I come to see that it is the good pleasure of God, and therefore I abandon myself o His good pleasure, and die willingly.  In the same way I do not know whether in the coming year all the fruits of the earth will be destroyed by storms and unfavourable weather; if it should be so, or if a pestilence should break out, or whatever may happen, it is quite evident that it is the good pleasure of God, and therefore I conform to it.  It may happen that you have no consolation in your exercises: now it is certain that this is the good pleasure of God, therefore you must remain calm and indifferent between desolation and consolation; the same as to all things which may occur to you, as to the clothes which are given to you, as to the food which is offered to you.[3]

 

I must, however, observe that there are matters in which the known will of God must be united to the will of His good pleasure.  For instance, I fall sick of a malignant fever; in this event I see that it is God's good pleasure that I should be quite indifferent as to whether I am ill or well; but the known will of God is that I, not being under obedience, should call in a doctor, and apply all the remedies possible (I do not say the most choice, but the common and ordinary ones) and that Religious, who are under a Superior, should accept in simplicity and submission the remedies and treatment offered to them; for God has signi­fied this to us by giving virtue to remedies, Holy Scripture in various places teaches us to do so, and the Church commands it.

 

Having done this, whether the malady conquers the remedies or the remedies get the better of the malady should be a matter of perfect indifference, so much so that, if sickness and health were put before us, and Our Lord were to say to us: " If thou choose health, I will not deprive thee of a single particle of My grace, if thou choose sickness, I shall not in any degree increase that grace, but in the choice of sickness there is a little more of My good pleasure"—the soul which has wholly forsaken herself and abandoned herself into the hands of Our Lord will undoubtedly choose sickness, solely because it is more pleasing to God. Even though this might mean a whole lifetime spent on her couch in constant suffering, she would not for any earthly consideration desire to be in any other condition than this. Thus the saints who are in heaven are so closely united to the will of God, that if there were even a little more of His good pleasure in hell than in paradise, they would quit paradise to go there. This state of self abandonment comprehends also perfect submission to the good pleasure of God in all temptations, dryness, dullness, aversions, and repugnances which come upon us in the spiritual life, for we see in all these things the good pleasure of God, when they do not happen through our own fault and there is no sin in them.

 

In truth self-renunciation is the virtue of virtues: it is the cream of charity, the odour of humility, the merit, I consider, of patience, and the fruit of perseverance. Great is this virtue, and alone worthy of being practised by the best beloved children of God. Father, says our dear Saviour on the cross, [Lk. 23:4,6] into Thy hands I commend My spirit. As if He said: "It is true that all is consummated and that I have finished all that Thou gavest Me to do; but yet, if it is Thy will that I should still remain on this cross and suffer more, I am content to do so; into Thy hands I commend My spirit, Thou canst do with Me as it pleases Thee." We ought to do the same, my dearest daughters, on all occasions, whether we suffer or whether we enjoy some consolation, allowing ourselves thus to be guided by the divine will at its good pleasure, without ever permitting ourselves to be led by our own will. Our Lord loves with a most tender love those who are so happy as to abandon themselves wholly to His fatherly care, letting themselves be governed by His divine Providence, without any idle speculations to whether the workings of this Providence will be useful to them to their profit, or painful to their loss, and this because they are well assured that nothing can be sent, nothing permitted by this paternal and most loving Heart, which will not be a source of good and profit to them.  All that is required is that they should place all their confi­dence in Him, and say from their heart: "Into Thy blessed hands I commend my spirit, my soul, my body and all that I have, to do with them as it shall please Thee."  Never are we reduced to such an extremity, that we cannot pour forth before the divine Majesty, the perfume of a holy submission to His most holy will, and of a continual promise never wilfully to offend Him.  Sometimes Our Lord wills that the souls chosen for the service of His divine Majesty should content themselves with a firm and unchanging resolution to persevere in following Him amid the disgusts, dryness, repugnances, and asperities of the spiritual life, without consolation, delight, sweetness, or relish, and indeed believing themselves unworthy of such.    They thus follow their divine Saviour in the higher region of their soul, with no other support than that of His divine will, by whose good pleasure it is thus.  And this is the path in which I desire that we should walk, my dear daughters.

 

You ask me next with what a Religious entirely given up into the hands of God should occupy her mind. She has nothing to do but to remain close to Our Lord, without troubling herself about anything, either as regards her body or her soul; for since she has committed herself to the Providence of God, why need she think about what will become of her? Our Lord, to whom she has absolutely surrendered herself, will think of everything for her. I do not, however, mean to say that we must not think about the things to which we are bound by our respective duties; for it would not be right that a Superior, under pretence of having given himself up wholly to God and throwing all his care on Him, should neglect to read and learn the instructions which are needful for the due exercise of his office.

 

It is quite true that it needs a very great confidence thus to abandon ourselves without any reserve to divine Providence; but then, when we abandon everything, Our Lord takes care of everything and orders everything.  On the other hand, if we reserve to ourselves anything, instead of confiding it to Him, He leaves it to us, saying as it were: "You think yourselves wise enough to manage this matter without Me; well, I will leave you to act, you will see how you will succeed." Those who are dedicated to God in Religion ought to abandon all without any reserve.  St. Magdalene, who had given herself up wholly to the will of Our Lord, remained at His feet and listened while He spoke [Lk. 10:31].  When He ceased to speak, she also ceased to listen, but still she never stirred from the place she had taken near Him.  So is it with the soul which has surrendered itself; it has nothing else to do but to rest in the arms of Our Lord like a child on his mother's breast.  When she puts him down to walk, he walks until she takes him up again, and when she wishes to carry him, he allows her to do so.  He neither knows nor thinks where he is going, but allows himself to be carried or led wherever his mother pleases. So this soul lets itself be carried when it lovingly accepts God's good pleasure in all things that happen, and walks when it carefully effects all that the known will of God demands.

 

You ask me now, if it is possible that our will should be so absolutely dead in Our Lord, that we no longer know what we wish or what we do not wish. I reply at once that, however much we may have renounced ourselves, we always so far retain our liberty and free will, that some desires or volitions stir within us. These, however, are not absolute volitions, or complete desires, for as soon as a soul which has abandoned itself to the good pleasure of God perceives within itself any volition, it immediately puts it to death, to make the will of God live in its stead.

 

You also wish to know if a soul, still very im­perfect, can with profit to itself remain in prayer before God, with that simple attention to His divine presence of which I spoke. I tell you that if God places you there, you can certainly remain there, for it happens not unfrequently that Our Lord gives this repose and tranquillity to souls which are not thoroughly purged. While, however, they still need purgation, they should, outside the time of prayer, occupy themselves with the reflections and con­siderations necessary for their amendment. Indeed, even if God should keep them always in deep recollection, they still retain sufficient liberty to discourse with the understanding on many indifferent subjects; why, then, should they not be able to ponder and form the resolutions needed for their amendment and the practice of virtues?  There are very perfect persons to whom Our Lord never gives this sweetness and repose, who do all in the higher region[4] of their soul, and who by the sheer force of the higher reason, make their own will die and God’s will live in them.  And this death is the death of the cross [Phil. 2:8], which is much more excellent and generous than that other, which for the following reason should rather be called a slumber than a death’ namely, because a soul which has embarked in the vessel of God’s Providence, lets itself be carried gently along, like a person who thought asleep in a boat upon a quiet sea, is all the time making progress. This manner of death, so gentle and so sweet, is given as by a free gift, the other by merit.

 

You wish further to know what foundation our confidence ought to have.  It must be grounded on the infinite goodness of God and on the merits of the Death and Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, with this condition on our part, that we should preserve and recognise in ourselves an entire and firm resolution to belong wholly to God, and to abandon ourselves in all things and without any reserve to His Providence. I wish you, however, to observe that I do not say that we must feel this resolution to belong wholly to God, but only that we must have it and recognise it in ourselves; because we must not concern ourselves with what we feel or do not feel, since the greater part of our feelings and satisfactions are only the movements of self-love.  Neither must it be supposed that in all this practice of self-renunciation and indifference, we shall never have desires contrary to the will of God, or that nature will never shrink with repugnance from the dispositions of His good pleasure. This would be an error.    These virtues reside in the higher region of our soul: the lower, generally speaking, has nothing to do with them. We must remain at peace, and paying no attention whatever to what that lower nature desires, we must embrace the divine will and unite ourselves to it whatever this may entail.  There are very few persons who reach this height of perfect self-renunciation; nevertheless, we must all aim at it, each according to his little measure.

 

 

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[1] That the – way to find God is the consideration of. (Variant).

[2] Confidence – for confidence is the life of the soul; take away its confidence you put it to death. (Varaiant).

[3] And Consolation. – A habit is given to you which you do not like so well as the one you are accustomed to war; the habit-keeper did it with simplicity.  It is certainly the good pleasure of God that you should wear this habit, and you must take it with indifference.  It is the same with some food in the refectory which is not to your taste; it is doubtless the good pleasure of God that you should eat it, and you must do so with indifference, I mean, as regards the will.  So also with caresses and proofs of friendship.  If a person does not show signs of affection to you, be sure that this is the good pleasure of God, and that the person is occupied with something better.  Why, then, take the trouble to make much of you?  If, however, the caress is given, then you must believe that this too is the good pleasure of God, and thank Him for this little consolation. (Variant).

[4] The higher region of – the reason; and this is called dying in the love of our crucified Saviour, and this death. (Variant).

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