Salesian Literature

Letters on:

Loving and Serving God in Your Daily Life

1. Marriage is an exercise in mortification   ::   2. As far as possible, make your devotion attractive  ::   3. Have patience with everyone, including yourself

4. Keep yourself gentle amid household troubles  ::   5. Do what you see can be done with love  ::   6. Parents can demand more than God Himself

7. Avoid making your devotion troublesome  ::   8. Have contempt for contempt  ::   9. Lord, what would You have me to do?  ::   10. Take Jesus as your patron

11. Remain innocent among the hissing of serpents  ::   12. Never speak evil of your neighbour  ::   13. Extravagant recreations may be blameworthy

14. We must not ask of ourselves what we don't have  ::   15. If you get tired of kneeling, sit down  ::   16. You will not lack mortification

17. We must always walk faithfully  ::   18. Illness can make you agreeable to God  ::   19. You are being crowned with His crown of thorns

20. Often the world calls evil what is good  ::   21. Rest in the arms of Providence  ::   22. In confidence, lift up your heart to our Redeemer

23. We must slowly withdraw from the world  ::   24. This dear child was more God's than yours  ::   25. Think of no other place than Paradise or Purgatory

26. How tenderly I loved her!  ::   27. Calm your mind, lift up your heart  ::   28. Miserable beggars receive the greatest mercy

 

1. Marriage is an exercise in mortification

To a young woman contemplating marriage

 

Mademoiselle,

 

I answer your letter of the second of this month, later than I wished, considering the quality of the advice and counsel you ask me; but the great rains have hindered travellers from starting.  At least I have had no safe opportunity until this.

 

The advice your good cousin so constantly gave you to remain your own mistress, in the care of your father, and able afterward to consecrate your heart and body to Our Lord, was founded on a great number of considerations drawn from many circumstances relating to your condition.  For this reason, if your spirit had been in a full and entire indifference, I should doubtless have told you that you should follow the advice as the noblest and most proper that could be offered, for it would have been such beyond all question.

 

But since your spirit is not at all indifferent, but rather quite bent to the choice of marriage, and since in spite of your recourse to God you feel yourself still attached to marriage, it is not expedient to do violence to so confirmed a feeling for any reason whatever.  All the circumstances that otherwise would be more than enough to make me agree with your dear cousin, have no weight against this strong inclination and propensity, which, indeed, if it were weak and slight, would be of little account, but being powerful and firm, must be the foundation of your resolution.

 

If then the husband proposed to you is otherwise suitable – a good man, and of sympathetic humour – you may profitably accept him.  I say sympathetic, because this bodily defect of yours (extremely short stature) requires sympathy, as it requires you to compensate for it by a great sweetness, a sincere love, and a very resigned humility – in short, true virtue and perfection of soul must cover over the deficiency of body…

 

The state of marriage is one that requires more virtue and constancy than any other.  It is a perpetual exercise of mortification; it will perhaps be so to you more than usual.  You must then dispose yourself to it with a particular care, that from this thyme plant, in spite of the bitter nature of its juice, you may be able to draw and make the honey of a holy life.

 

May the sweet Jesus be every your sugar and your honey to sweeten your vocation; ever may He live and reign in our hearts.  I am in Him,

 

Your very affectionate servant,

Francis

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